Surrey Domestic Abuse Awareness Week

Controlling behaviour in relationships

Not all abuse is physical

Domestic abuse in relationships doesn’t always involve physical violence. It can be sexual, financial and emotional abuse and can happen to anyone. Sustained controlling behaviour such as regularly intimidating, bullying, criticising or threatening someone in a personal or intimate relationship, are all forms of what is called ‘coercive control’. This is a form of domestic abuse and is a criminal offence.

What is coercive control?

Typically, one person in a personal relationship, whether it be a partner, spouse or family member, will control the other over a period of time and in ways that go largely unnoticed by friends and family. As well as the bullying and criticism, common traits of coercive control can include checking the other’s phone, making them dress in or look a certain way, wanting to know where they are and who they are seeing, restricting their money or cutting them off from friends and family.

Who can it happen to and what support is available?

Domestic abuse can happen to anyone and affects people of all genders, ages, ethnicities, abilities and income levels. A range of help and support is available, including general advice and confidential listening. So, if you think you may be in a controlling relationship or know someone who is, we are here to help when you are ready. Visit the Surrey Against Domestic Abuse website, call Surrey’s Domestic Abuse helpline provided by Your Sanctuary on 01483 776822 or use the Your Sanctuary confidential online chat to get advice, signposting and information, just as you would over the phone. In an emergency you should always call 999.