Borough Insight

Poetry please

In the last few issues of eBorough Insight, we've included poems from the community with their take on the COVID-19 situation. This is the latest we've received - more please! 

The Ballad of the Covid Mask

My wife said to me Image: shopping with a mask
I have you a task
Can you get me some shopping?
But you must wear a mask.

And to keep yourself safe
At all times keep it on
If you take it off
It would be terribly wrong

She said she had written
It all down on a list
And she said to make sure
That nothing is missed

So, I put on my mask
It made me feel rather lonely
But it is only a short way
To the shops down at Stoneleigh

But my glasses steamed up
Cause what had occurred
The mask made me too hot
So, my vision was blurred

When I got to the Broadway
I looked at her note
But through the mist on my specs
I couldn’t tell what exactly she’d wrote

And I recalled her words
She’d stated so clear and so strong
Don’t take off your mask
That would be terribly wrong

I wasn’t quite sure
If I had got everything right
Did I get some things wrong ?
I admit that I might

So, when I got home
We unpacked the shopping
And by the time we got through
My wife she was hopping

And though I said
I couldn’t quite see
She said your excuses
Cut no ice with me

You bought some tomatoes
When I asked for potatoes
And a length of brown rope
When it should have been soap
And 12 cans of Dutch ale
That should have been kale
And a bottle of brandy
That should have been candy
And some ointment for bunions
Instead of red onions
And a string of clothes pegs
That should have been eggs
And six tins of baked beans
That should have been greens
And some real runny cheese
That should have been peas
And two bedside lamps
That should have been stamps
And a bucket and spade
And not lemonade
And an x-box type game
Not that sort of game!

And explain to your betters
Why you bought the French letters
I asked for electrical flex
And not some Durex

And a whole leg of lamb
That should have been jam
And a brand-new big telly
When I wrote tagliatelle!
And the box of Rice Crispies
Has become a selection of whiskies
And the food for the cat
Is now a new hat

And why did you buy
A brand-new garden shed
When all that I wanted
Was a loaf of brown bread

And so, it went on
My trip was a flop
But the upside is next time
She’ll go to the shop!

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